Batman, She Wrote
by MinervaDeannaBond
Summary: In 1989, Jessica Fletcher visits Gotham City for a book signing and stays at the home of billionaire Bruce Wayne. Her visit is soon disturbed by news that the Joker may not be dead after all, and the only way to solve the mystery is to team up with the Dark Knight himself. Set during MSW S6 and 1989's "Batman." Co-authored with TouchedbyaMunster.
1. Gotham Bound

Here comes a crossover of epic - and comic - proportions! Inspired by a comic drawing on Tumblr, this story tells the tale of Jessica Fletcher going to Gotham City for a book signing. Unfortunately, she goes in the aftermath of the mess with the Joker, and when trouble rises again, guess who Jessica runs into along the way? Yup, the Dark Knight himself.

Co-authored with my friend and fellow _Batman _lover, TouchedByAMunster. Check out his work (and his Tumblr)!

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><p>"Of all the places they coulda sent you to promote your book, they <em>had <em>to pick the bowels of hell."

Jessica Fletcher's fingers nearly slipped as she tied a scarf around her neck. "Seth, I'd hardly call Gotham City that. Granted, it has gotten its fair share of publicity, both good and bad, in the last few months, but I wouldn't go quite as far as comparing it to the inner reaches of the underworld."

On the verge of raising his cup of coffee to his lips, Seth Hazlitt snorted, causing the creosote-colored liquid within to ripple. "That's because you're forever seeing the glass as half-full, Jessica."

"And you're forever seeing it as half-empty. For heaven's sake, Gotham has actually gotten its act together after that disaster with the Joker. The crime rate has dropped, more people are feeling safer in their homes and on the streets, and it's all thanks to Batman."

Seth shot her a cynical look. "Really, Jess? A homicidal maniac who looks like a Picasso painting and acts like he sucks helium on a daily basis plunges to his death thanks to a man dressed up as a _bat, _of all things, and then this _Batman _plays vigilante for the rest of the city? Ayuh, that's _very _safe."

Jessica adjusted her scarf and glared at her best friend, placing her hands on her hips. "Seth, say what you will about Batman. I for one happen to think he's doing that city a great favor, risking his own life day after day just to keep the city safe. Of course, some might argue that he has no business interfering in murder and crime, but he does it out of the goodness of his own heart."

"Gee, I wonder who that sounds like?" Seth ignored Jessica's next dirty look and went back to sipping his coffee. "Well, I guess I can't stop you from going to Gotham. 'Course, you'll go no matter what, stubborn as you are." His expression softened as he watched her check her two packed suitcases for anything she may have missed. "Just... be careful, all right? Gotham's a dangerous place, Jess. It'd kill me if anything happened to you."

Jessica straightened and turned back to her friend. Upon hearing the soft change in his voice, her frown had morphed into a look of open love. "I'll be fine, Seth."

"I've heard that before."

"I know, but this time, it's the truth, I promise. I'll be staying in the safest house in all of Gotham City, with a man who is as harmless as they come, trust me."

Seth nodded. "Ah yes, that Wayne character you mentioned. Isn't he the one who's a multimillionaire; owns a few companies in Gotham and has a mansion to rival the Biltmore Estate?"

"Yes, that's Bruce... and he's a billionaire, actually."

"Self-made?"

"Yes and no. He inherited the bulk of his fortune from his parents, but he's added to it through Wayne Enterprises and through philanthropy. He's the patron of quite a few of Gotham's biggest charities."

"Hmm." Seth nodded again, this time in contemplation. "Decent fella?"

"Oh yes, Bruce is a very kind man, very well-spoken. He and I have met at a few benefits over the years and he's always been as sweet as can be..."

A pregnant pause followed, in which Jessica's voice trailed off and a wistful look came into her eyes. Seth waited for a continuation, but none came. "But?" he prompted, speaking the silent word that was hanging on the end of her last sentence.

The prompt woke her up. "But there's still a sense of mystery about him. Every time I talk to him, I can't help but feel that he's hiding a precious secret... or carrying a great burden, other than the deaths of his parents, of course."

"How'd they die?"

Jessica shook her head. "It was terrible, Seth. His parents were gunned down in front of him when he was just a boy. Murdered in a botched robbery. I don't think Bruce has ever figured out why the killer spared his life, but if you ask me, I think someone was looking out for him."

"Wow." If Seth had harbored any doubts about Bruce Wayne prior to this, they were dispelled now. "Did he ever find out who killed his parents?"

"I honestly don't know. If he knows, he hasn't told me, for reasons only known to him. He'll tell me when he's ready, I'm sure of it."

"Well... he treats you well and he's charity-minded, and that's good enough for me." Seth suddenly chuckled. "Just don't get lost in that mansion of his if you take it upon yourself to poke around like you always do."

"I do not always poke around!"

"Ya do too. Woman, you are the nosiest thing God ever put on this earth; you cannot resist poking and exploring around a mansion like the Little Mermaid in a shipwreck! Don't even try to deny it, it's the truth!"

Jessica tried and failed miserably to get mad at Seth. Truth of the matter was, she couldn't get mad at him when he called her out on humorous little things like this. She _was_ nosy and she knew it, and he could always make it sound like a hilarious quirk of hers rather than a drastic fault, as others would have perceived it. "All right, all right, you've got me. If I do poke around, I won't get lost. I'll probably have a grand tour from either Bruce or his butler Alfred."

"He's got a butler? I'm not surprised, with that mansion of his."

"I've never met Alfred, but from what Bruce has told me, he's much more than just the butler. Alfred raised Bruce on his own after Thomas and Martha Wayne were murdered, so he provided for him, saw to his education, and no doubt taught him never to look down on others and treat everyone with respect. He certainly seems like an extraordinary man."

"Maybe you oughta marry him, then."

"Oh, Seth, be serious! I'm only stating a fact." Jessica checked her watch. "And speaking of facts, we'd better get going or we'll get stuck in traffic, and _that _is a fact."

Seth drained his coffee cup and carried the mug to the kitchen. "All right, let's go," he said upon returning to the living room. He seized a suitcase in each hand and carried them out to his car, loading them into the trunk while Jessica locked up the house. "Just promise me one thing, Jess."

"Sure, Seth. What?"

"If you run into a guy dressed up as a bat, run in the other direction and don't stop."

Jessica laughed. "Seth, I am going to be running my fanny off from one bookstore to another in Gotham and spending the rest of my time sequestered in Wayne Manor," she said as she climbed into the car and they drove off. "I think it's safe to say that the odds of my running into Batman are slim to none."


	2. Party Crashers

Here's the second chapter of _Batman, She Wrote, _written by my buddy TouchedbyaMunster. As we continue, Bruce Wayne is preparing for a new charity function (with Vicki Vale as his date), and Jessica and Seth arrive in Gotham. What will ensue? Read on to find out!

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><p>Deep within the Batcave, faithful butler Alfred Pennyworth came down to his forlorn, brooding employer, Bruce Wayne, carrying a tray.<p>

"What is it, Alfred?" Bruce asked, without even looking behind him. He sat at the Batcomputer, researching old cases.

"I've brought you an afternoon snack, Master Bruce," Alfred replied. "Also, I'm here to remind you about the charity function tonight. You're to attend the grand reopening of the Wayne memorial public library, and need I remind you that the lovely Ms. Vale has agreed to accompany you as your date. I'd advise to postpone your regular nightly activities, Sir."

"Gotham needs Batman, Alfred," Bruce said. "I'm going to protect her, but in this case…"

"Gotham needs Bruce Wayne, too, sir." Alfred said. "When you arrive, you're to meet Mr. Fox and Commissioner Gordon, who will be performing the ceremony along with you and Mayor Hill."

"Ok, Alfred," Bruce said. "Is the car ready?"

"Yes sir," Alfred said, "it's out front. I've taken the liberty of filling the tank full with gas."

"Thank you, Alfred." Bruce said. "See you shortly."

Meanwhile, at Gotham Airport, Jessica Fletcher and Dr. Seth Hazlitt arrived.

"Now Jess, stay close to me," Seth said. "Gotham is a very dangerous place."

"I thought you said this Batman would stop any criminals we might come across," Jessica said.

"He may," Seth said, "but people aren't sure if Batman is stopping crooks, or in cahoots with them. He may be more dangerous than any mobster or psychopath."

"Really Seth!" Jessica said, rolling her eyes, "let's just get to the book signing. We have to meet Bruce in an hour. No more nonsense about men in tights dressed as flying rodents. Besides, I was able to bring along some mace in my purse to take down any interlopers we might come across. Luckily, airport security didn't see it."

"Ok, suit yourself." Seth said, "Taxi!"

A cab pulled up to them.

"Take us to Wayne Memorial Public Library please." Seth said.

At the library, Alfred got Bruce out of the limo, where he stepped out with Vicki Vale on his arm.

"I'll park the car around back, sir." Alfred said.

"Very good, Alfred." Bruce said.

"You come to these things often?" Vicki asked.

"No," Bruce said, "just when I get bored."

Vicki smiled.

They were greeted by Commissioner Gordon, Mayor Hamilton Hill, District Attorney Harvey Dent, and the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises, Lucius Fox.

"Bruce, it's a pleasure to see you!" Gordon said as he shook his hand. "And lovely to see you as well, Ms. Vale."

"Thank you Commissioner," Vicki replied.

"Why don't you go and have a seat, Vicki?" Bruce said. "I'll join you in a minute."

She left and sat down at Bruce's reserved table.

"This a great thing you're doing for the city, Mr. Wayne!" Mayor Hill said.

"Well, Mr. Mayor," Bruce said, "any chance I get to help the impoverished youth of our city I take. I know my father would want me too."

"Save the sentiment for your speech, Bruce!" Harvey said.

"Harvey!" Bruce exclaimed, as he embraced his friend with a hug. "How ya doin'?"

"Fine, Bruce!" Harvey said. "As soon as we finish tying up loose ends. Grissom may have been murdered by the Joker a few months ago, but now there's other mob bosses rising to power. Sal Maroni and Carmine Falcone both want a chuck of the city, and I'm not about to let either of them have it!"

"That's our crusading DA!" Bruce chuckled.

"Bruce, just a heads up," Lucius Fox said, "you might want to keep an eye on Mr. Max Shreck over there. He's been making advances on the company for weeks now."

"Don't worry, Lucius," Bruce said. "He won't lay a hand on my company. I'm expecting to meet a Mrs. Jessica Fletcher. She's a mystery writer who's supposed to be advertising her new book here tonight. Have you seen her?"

"As a matter of fact, I think she came in just a few minutes ago." Lucius said, "I think she's over at your table."

At Bruce's table, Jessica was talking to Vicki.

"Vicki?" she asked. "Vicki Vale, is that you?"

"Yes!" she said. "And you are?"

"Jessica Fletcher," she said, extending her hand. "I'm quite familiar with your work. I'm a writer myself. I read your early exposé you wrote before you became a photo journalist on the attempted assassination of President Reagan. Brilliant work if I do say so myself."

"Thank you," Vicki replied, "I'm sorry, are you here for a book signing or something?"

"Yes," Jessica said. "Also, I have business with Mr. Bruce Wayne."

"Is that so?" came a voice from behind them. "Sorry for the rude interruption, ladies, my name is Max Shreck. Shreck industries is going to topple Wayne's empire. You should do business with someone like me, ma'am. No one cares about a loser like Wayne."

"Thank you, Mr. Shreck," Jessica said, "but I'm afraid it's quite crucial that I meet with Mr. Wayne."

"Alright fine," Shreck said, "but Vicki, after that ordeal you went through with the Joker a few months back, I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on."

"No thanks, Max," Vicki said, "I'm fine."

"I'd listen to the lady if I were you, Max." came a suave voice from behind.

"Bruce!" Max said, turning around to face his competitor, "your ears must be burning; we were just talking about you."

"All good things I hope?" Bruce asked.

"Of course," Shreck said, through a forced smile, "see you 'round."

As Shreck departed, Bruce turned to face the ladies.

"Jessica," Bruce said. "Glad you could make it. I'm sure you've already gotten acquainted with Vicki Vale."

"Of course," Jessica said. "I've been aware of Ms. Vale's work for some time now. However, Bruce, I have to speak with you about a matter which I believe you are familiar. As you know, you have agreed to allow me to stay at your home for the week that I'm in your fair city."

"Yes," Bruce said, "Alfred will see to your luggage."

"You must be Alfred," Seth said, turning to the butler/valet and shaking his hand, "I've heard about you."

"Thank you, Sir," the butler said, coming up from behind them,

"Nice to meet you. Here you go, Alfred." Seth said, handing him their bags.

"Charmed, I'm sure." Alfred muttered.

Later on, the mayor was beginning the ceremony.

"…And so, it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to the founder and prime contributor of this great library, Mr. Bruce Wayne!"

The audience applauded. Bruce got up to the podium, as Mayor Hill took his seat.

"Thank you, Mr. Mayor," Bruce said. "My father was always interested in expanding my mind. As a young boy, I remember my father stressing the importance of education, and so this great library of vast knowledgeable resources will go to improve Gotham's youth, to build a better future for us all!"

The audience applauded once more.

"Couldn't have put it better myself, Mr. Wayne!" came a sinister but polished voice from the back of the room.

A bespectacled man stepped forth from among the crowd. He wore a suit of brown leather, and hat with what appeared to be a reading lamp jutting out from the front.

"Good evening, Gothamites," the Bookworm said. "Please allow me to introduce myself: my name is Reed Booker, more commonly known by my criminal persona as the Bookworm!"

"Booker used to be the Bookkeeper for Boss Grissom!" Gordon said. "Following Grissom's demise, he struck out on his own. What do you want here, Booker?"

"I'm glad you asked, Commissioner," Bookworm replied, "if you'll all be so kind as to turn over your wallets, jewels, and allow us to raid this treasure trove of books, no one will be hurt and we'll be on our merry way!"

"Don't worry, Mr. Wayne, stay behind me!" Gordon said. He turned behind him, and Bruce was gone. "Wayne? Bruce?! Where the devil are you?"

Bookworm made his way over to the table where sat Jessica Fletcher, Seth Hazlitt, Vicki Vale, and Alfred Pennyworth.

"Well, if it isn't the lovely Victoria Vale," Bookworm said, "and you must be Mrs. Jessica Fletcher. It is an honor to meet you, madam. I have enjoyed your murder mystery novels."

"Why thank you," Jessica said, "but I'm afraid I can't allow you to steal these books."

"In words of Edgar Allen Poe, Mrs. Fletcher, 'I soundly and tranquilly slept; aye, slept even with the burden of murder upon my soul!' from 'The Black Cat', end of paragraph twenty-nine."

"What?" she asked. "You expect to kill me just so you can steal books?"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Bookworm quoted. "_Hamlet_. Act III, scene II."

Suddenly, the Dark Knight came crashing through the roof.

"Well, well, if it isn't the famous Batman himself!" Bookworm laughed. "Bookends, throw the book at this flying rodent!"

The Bookworm's men, seemingly coming out of nowhere, all started attacking Batman. The Dark Knight made short work of them and they were defeated within a minute. As Bookworm tried to run away, Jessica and Seth were able to push a bookshelf on top of him. Everything from Lewis Carroll's Alice_ in Wonderland _to Rudyard Kipling's _The Jungle Book _fell on him.

"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" Bookworm asked, in a last-ditch attempt for mercy. Batman responded with a right hook to the side of his face.

"Jess, we better get out of here before this freak comes after us!" Seth whispered.

"Nonsense, Seth," Jessica responded, "The Batman saved our lives."

As Commissioner Gordon and his men ran over to the scene, Batman threw a smoke pellet and promptly disappeared. Gordon found Bookworm tied up with a piece of paper attached with a bat symbol on it.

"I think it's time we head over to the mansion now," Jessica stated.

"Right away, madam," Alfred said.

"It was nice to meet you." Vicki said.

"Same to you," Jessica responded.

Later, at the mansion, Bruce got Jessica and Seth situated.

"We have multiple guest rooms you can choose from." Bruce said. "I hope you enjoy your stay here in Gotham."

"I'll certainly try to make the most of it." Jessica said. "Heavens, I never thought I run into the Dark Knight Detective my first night in town!"

"Mrs. Fletcher, if I may be so bold," Alfred said, "we have a mutual friend, you and I: Mr. Michael Haggerty."

"Really?" she said, as a look of surprise passed over face. She paused to contemplate this newfound revelation. "Yes, I have heard him mention the name Pennyworth once or twice, come to think of it. How did you become acquainted?"

"He and I used to serve together in MI5 before I moved to MI6." Alfred said, "we've done several missions together, most which are not for me to reveal the details of. I'm happy to be at your disposal, madam."

"Well, that puts me at ease to have another person watching my back in this city. Thank you, Alfred." Jessica said, "Good night."

After Alfred left, Seth pulled Jessica aside. "What do you think, Jess?"

"We can trust him, Seth. He's a good friend of Michael Haggerty. That said, however, we may soon find ourselves in over our heads, given Michael's knack for getting me into sticky situations. Besides, Bruce is being more than hospitable to us. And who knows, our visit to Gotham may prove to be more than a mere book tour, with these costumed characters running around. Time will tell. But for now, I suggest we get a good night's sleep. We're going to need it for tomorrow's book signing."

Down in the Batcave, deep below stately Wayne Manor, Alfred came out of the elevator and brought a tray to Bruce.

"What mystery are we unraveling now, Sir?" Alfred asked.

"Nothing, Alfred," Bruce said, "just digging up more info on Reed Booker aka the Bookworm for future reference."

"You know, Sir," Alfred said, "Mrs. Fletcher and I share a mutual friend in a Mr. Michael Haggerty. He and I served in MI5 together. She could prove useful in your crusade against crime. You're both detectives, after all."

"Jessica Fletcher is a good, intelligent woman, but she's still only a writer attempting to be an amateur detective." Bruce said. "She would quickly find herself in over her head in my line of work."


End file.
